| Lifelong conservative Republican | ||
| Doesn’t grab women by… anything | ||
| Doesn’t mock disabled people in front of large crowds | ||
| Doesn’t abandon allies on a whim | ||
| Actual Christian | ||
| Occasionally tells the truth | ||
| Hasn’t been impeached |
All the President’s Men
| Lifelong conservative Republican | ||
| Doesn’t grab women by… anything | ||
| Doesn’t mock disabled people in front of large crowds | ||
| Doesn’t abandon allies on a whim | ||
| Actual Christian | ||
| Occasionally tells the truth | ||
| Hasn’t been impeached |